Poor Daisy - feel horrible

[Riesen16]

Dear Gary

Even though you are making the right decision, the pain and sorrow will still be there. I wish you much strength to get through it and peace for afterwards.

King regards
Gill

[GaryThomlinson]

We thought we’d take what is likely the last Christmas photo with Daisy. On the right of the photo with me. On the left is fighting fIt Penny.

[zeta1454]

Lovely photo Gary

Treasure these moments and I hope you can enjoy this Christmas with your girls despite the sadness of Daisy's failing health.

Thinking of you all

[GaryThomlinson]

Cramming in the activities, well at least carrying her places...

[Oscar 12345]

Gary, I think we can all see by these wonderful photos why Daisy just does't want to leave you. Hope you all can have a lovely day on Wednesday. Take care.

[mikegoodson1]

The pictures of Daisy with you are lovely and I really feel for you. I have not been in this position myself and therefore cannot begin to understand how difficult this time must be. Wishing you and Daisy a lovely Xmas Day together. Sending you our thoughts and love.

[redalert]

It is so lovely to hear Daisy is still enjoying her time left with you, she knows she is loved and that will be why she don’t want to leave you. You will have to be brave and make the kindest decision for Daisy even though it will break your heart, believe me, it is the hardest decision you will ever have to make but as I have said before, it is better to let them go maybe a couple of days to early than even 1 day to late. I am in tears writing this because I know how much it hurts. Thinking of you and your family at this very sad time.

[GaryThomlinson]

The problem I have with all this is that daisy could go weeks or months at this level of health. She’s been incontinent and weak since early 2018 and it’s only feb this year she had the vestibular event which made her weaker and Wobblier and now this most recent recurrence.

It makes the decision massively grey as she’s not suffering with an ailment that has a determined timescale. That said she’s weaker than ever, wobblier (walks like she’s drunk) etc

...and shortly after writing this I took her out for a walk where one of her legs just jammed and she fell, luckily supported by me at the last moment so she didn’t hit the floor.

Sigh

[zeta1454]

Sadly this kind of decision is almost always one where it is not 'black & white' and more than often, if it was, it would mean that the suffering of the dog concerned was unbearable or a catastrophic injury or disease (for example) had effectively made the decision for you. Very few dogs or cats or humans pass gently in their sleep and, with our loved animals it could be seen as a blessing and a curse rolled into one that we can choose when and how to release them from this life.

Letting an elderly and unwell loved one pass is so hard because we want them to live on and seize every sign that they are still happy to postpone the decision as long as possible. Dogs in my experience will often endure much and show little in the way of pain or suffering and are eager to respond to those they love with a lick or wag of the tail even in the most extreme circumstances. One of our mini schnauzers (aged 13 years ) suffered a catastrophic stroke which left her completely paralysed, able only to move her head and yet still wanted to eat and responded to our stroking and touching her head. After 48 hours and on the advice of the vet, we let her pass peacefully and with dignity at home on her bed with us beside her. Every time a loved pet passes the grief is beyond explaining to anyone who has never been through that kind of bereavement and the emotional and physical pain of the loss is never less for having happened before. The only thing I have found is that the mental judgment of when to make that decision has become a little easier to make - helped by the advice and support of good vets in the past.

If and when you decide to let Daisy pass, it will be an act of love and care that she should not have to suffer an emergency collapse or tragic decline of all her faculties but has a planned and gentle release with her human 'Dads' beside her knowing she is loved and supported to the very end.

If at all possible, whenever it should be, by planning you can try to ensure Daisy enjoys a day or more beforehand to the full in terms of where she spends time whether to a favourite place or just snuggled at home and any treat of food she loves - you will know what are the things that give her most happiness. With our pets who have passed, we have also varied whether it is better for them to have a home visit from the vet or taken them to the surgery. Personally I prefer the home visit but with some this has not been possible and with one of our mini schnauzers it would have stressed her more having strangers coming to the house than taking her to the vets which bizarrely she never minded.

I hope you don't mind me sharing some of my own experience which is just to try and offer some help towards a decision only you and your partner can make