Jokes and Limericks........Keep It Clean :!:
- Jools
- Member
- Posts: 2031
- Joined: 11 Nov 2007, 20:22
- Location: Blackpool
- Contact:
Jokes and Limericks........Keep It Clean :!:
Please feel free to post a Joke or Limerick that will help brighten up our day.
All that we require is that you keep it clean :!:
All that we require is that you keep it clean :!:
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
- Jools
- Member
- Posts: 2031
- Joined: 11 Nov 2007, 20:22
- Location: Blackpool
- Contact:
- Jools
- Member
- Posts: 2031
- Joined: 11 Nov 2007, 20:22
- Location: Blackpool
- Contact:
- Grovelea
- Member
- Posts: 1593
- Joined: 13 Nov 2007, 09:57
- Location: in the 'forest'
- Contact:
Not a doggy joke, but, it made me laugh even tho I'm blonde!
A girl phones her boyfriend and asks him to come over to help with the new jigsaw she was trying to do, he asks what will it be when we've finished it, 'theres a tiger on the box' she said. So, he comes over and goes to the table and looks at all the pieces spread out and stares for a bit and then says, 'firstly no mater how long we take we won't get anything like a tiger out of this jigsaw' ......... 'And secondly I want you to relax, make a cup of coffee and then, he sighed........ we'll put the Frosties back in the box. :lol: :roll:
A girl phones her boyfriend and asks him to come over to help with the new jigsaw she was trying to do, he asks what will it be when we've finished it, 'theres a tiger on the box' she said. So, he comes over and goes to the table and looks at all the pieces spread out and stares for a bit and then says, 'firstly no mater how long we take we won't get anything like a tiger out of this jigsaw' ......... 'And secondly I want you to relax, make a cup of coffee and then, he sighed........ we'll put the Frosties back in the box. :lol: :roll:
- Jools
- Member
- Posts: 2031
- Joined: 11 Nov 2007, 20:22
- Location: Blackpool
- Contact:
- ziggy
- Site Admin
- Posts: 382
- Joined: 07 Sep 2007, 00:29
- Location: West Yorkshire
A man is driving down a country road when he spots a
farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He
pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that
the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking
at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the
farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what
are you doing?"
The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks the man, puzzled.
"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are
out standing in their field."
farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He
pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that
the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking
at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the
farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what
are you doing?"
The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks the man, puzzled.
"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are
out standing in their field."
- miniforme
- Member
- Posts: 3380
- Joined: 04 Oct 2007, 21:53
- First Name: Lisa
- Location: NORTHERN IRELAND
- Contact:
- susie
- Member
- Posts: 744
- Joined: 12 Nov 2007, 12:18
- Location: Northamptonshire
For the lady Schnauzer owners only:
Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
- Jools
- Member
- Posts: 2031
- Joined: 11 Nov 2007, 20:22
- Location: Blackpool
- Contact:
susie wrote:For the lady Schnauzer owners only:
Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
Oh no Jim, here it comes buddy :roll:
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
-
- Member
- Posts: 351
- Joined: 13 Nov 2007, 10:49
Not really a joke but made me smile..... make sure you click on the link at the end and it will all make sense!
They were together in the House.
Just the two of them.
It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly
each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.
She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance... and
wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her
from the storm.
She wanted that... more than anything.
Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out... She screamed...
He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.
He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.
He knew this was a forbidden union and
expected her to pull back.
He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.
The storm raged on...
there came a moment when each knew that they had to be together.
They knew it was wrong...
Their families would never understand... So consumed were
they in their passion that they heard no opening
of doors... just the faint click of a camera...
http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb29 ... direct.jpg
They were together in the House.
Just the two of them.
It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly
each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.
She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance... and
wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her
from the storm.
She wanted that... more than anything.
Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out... She screamed...
He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.
He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.
He knew this was a forbidden union and
expected her to pull back.
He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.
The storm raged on...
there came a moment when each knew that they had to be together.
They knew it was wrong...
Their families would never understand... So consumed were
they in their passion that they heard no opening
of doors... just the faint click of a camera...
http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb29 ... direct.jpg
- Pottydottie
- Member
- Posts: 4354
- Joined: 19 Nov 2007, 12:04
- Location: Essex
Click on the link for the free compture screen cleaner
http://home.versateladsl.be/bavertel/fu ... leaner.swf
http://home.versateladsl.be/bavertel/fu ... leaner.swf
-
- Member
- Posts: 215
- Joined: 15 Nov 2007, 15:15
- Location: Aberdeen
- Pottydottie
- Member
- Posts: 4354
- Joined: 19 Nov 2007, 12:04
- Location: Essex
if only football was like this it would make me it's number one fan
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=KXaW8ikmNzw
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=KXaW8ikmNzw