When do you know.....

[lyndsey + matt]

I know this isn't a nice topic but just wanted to gain opinions.
Dusty is the first dog that is mine not a family dog. He is 11 1/2 and has suffered from Cushings and Diabetes for just over a year now. It is very technical, but basically the 2 make it difficult to regulate medication. As a result, we are borderline in controlling both. His medication for both on a daily basis is pretty high.
He is also 5 months post cataract surgery - of course because it was poor Dusty - there were complications when it is sunny he loses the sight in his left eye because of a large amount of scar tissue.

In himself he is still a happy boy - wags his stump when he sees you, still has 2 walks a day and still loves a (much slower) run on the field. But just recently he has kept himself to himself - he doesn't come upstairs in the morning for cuddles in bed, (he hasnt been able to jump on the bed for about 10 months) he takes himself off to bed in the kitchen shortly after his tea and stays there.

Sorry for the waffle - so my question is - when do you know...?

Thanks
Lyndsey

[Wookie Woo]

Sorry to read your post, all I can say is "you just do"
Our lovely Lucy (cocker) was mine & Gary's first dog & my god did we love her, she was a rescue age 2 when we got her with no experience of anything & hard work in the beginning, but we had almost 8 fabulous years with her, feb 2011 we found out our lovely little Lucy had T cell lymphoma, we didn't know for definate & the vet hoped whatever it was, was contained within her spleen & removed that, it wasn't, she bounced back from that so quickly despite being so very very ill.
Why can't they just go in their sleep? 34 days after having her spleen removed we knew the time had come & some how we both said to each other it was the time & believe me the worse thing I/We have ever had to do but we just knew it was that day, I'm welling up as I write this but you really will know, Lucy kind of gave us the look that said it all
We've now got nutty Wookie our mini she was 3 last month (age 21 months when we got her, about 10 weeks after loosing Lucy)
Helen

[Mike Jackson]

You know when the time comes, they lose that sparkle and joy for life. It's always a dreadful time and you think you'll never get over the loss but after a while you can look back and remember the happy times with a smile. At least with our animals we can put and end to their pain and suffering.

[BeeBee]

How awful it is to go through what we have to when we love our pets. Jasmine lived with us for nearly 14.5years and in the last year or so became slower and frailer and like a fading old lady. Her world became smaller as she couldn't go far on our walks, at the end slowly we plodded to the park, but she still wanted to go, she still wanted to be with us and her friends in the park and we knew that although she was failing, she still wanted to be here, we just had to adapt to that and to help her live comfortably.

She had an eye removed in the November and we struggled a lot with putting her through this, and then she stopped eating mid December, an unheard of thing for her, and that was it, a lung tumour was diagnosed and we had to say goodbye, she told us it was so in her way. Now I do sometimes feel guilty for putting her through the eye op and I feel very sad when I look at her photos in her old age, but know that although she was frail, slow, incontinent, sleepy, she still wanted to stay, when she'd had enough she told us.

Sorry you're having the awfulness of this and I wish you strength.

[BeeBee]

How awful it is to go through what we have to when we love our pets. Jasmine lived with us for nearly 14.5years and in the last year or so became slower and frailer and like a fading old lady. Her world became smaller as she couldn't go far on our walks, at the end slowly we plodded to the park, but she still wanted to go, she still wanted to be with us and her friends in the park and we knew that although she was failing, she still wanted to be here, we just had to adapt to that and to help her live comfortably.

She had an eye removed in the November and we struggled a lot with putting her through this, and then she stopped eating mid December, an unheard of thing for her, and that was it, a lung tumour was diagnosed and we had to say goodbye, she told us it was so in her way. Now I do sometimes feel guilty for putting her through the eye op and I feel very sad when I look at her photos in her old age, but know that although she was frail, slow, incontinent, sleepy, she still wanted to stay, when she'd had enough she told us.

Sorry you're having the awfulness of this and I wish you strength.

[Claire Farrington]

Oh Lyndsey I am so sorry to hear this and I am telling you that you will know when it is the time. It sounds like Dusty is still a happy boy and that is the most important thing and as long as he is eating ok.

My old boy had started having seizures plus problems with his kidneys and even towards the end the vets still wanted to mess with him, he had to have an ultrasound on his kidneys and when I took him in I insisted that he wasn't sedated in any way. We had to leave him there and I got a phone call to say he was not going to have any of them scanning him and that they needed to give him a tiny bit of sedation so I was in a right predicament and they assured me he would be fine, so I agreed and that was the worse decision because he was never the same after that. The seizures started getting more and more regular and he developed vestibular disease where he couldn't hold his head up. That was enough for me when one evening he couldn't get up to have a drink. I rang the emergency vets and took him straight there and had prepared myself to have him pts, when I got him there the vet said oh he will be ok in the morning, take him home. Well I slept with him all night and he didn't get better so I packed all his stuff up, threw all his beds etc away and drove him to my vets and waited until they opened and told them that I wanted him put out of his misery there and then, they told me to bring him in the vets which I refused to do and told them he had had enough of vets and could they do it in our car where he loved to be and was all wrapped up cosy & warm. Thats it really and I was totally devastated and still cry now about him but he had a good long happy life and was nearly 15 years old. My motto was that when the bad days outweighed the good ones it was time.

I hope your little Dusty has a bit more time and I am glad you have two other dogs because at least they have company with each other. Sending loads of hugs to you all, especially little Dusty

[angieh]

So sorry to read this Lyndsey. I've never been through this with a dog, but have twice with cats. On a basic practical level it's down to the animal's quality of life. Personally I'd go for quality over quantity every time. My dear old soldier Merlin was over 23 years old when we knew he'd had enough. Looking back at his photos (like Bee says) I am shocked at how frail he was but you don't necessarily see it when your loved furry is with you every day. It's in your gift to give release from pain and I wish with all my heart that humans could do the same for other loved humans too.

[summer46]

You know when the time has come strange but true. It may be that they stop eating and drinking or they can no longer stand up but you just sort of know when it's time I always say they give you the look as if to say my time has

My first dog was on heart tablets for a year but other than that was fit in every other way. One morning he could not stand up but would still eat when I brought the food to him but he had this look like the sparkle had gone from his eyes i knew then it was time and wrapped him in his favourite blanket for his last visit to the vets he was fourteen. Three years later just after we had brought I first schnauzer our second dog stopped eating we thought it was her teeth but she had the same look about her no sparkle it turned out she was riddled with cancer and we had no idea as she had always been so lively she too was fourteen.

[Donald]

Why can't they just go in their sleep?
Helen

Having had both happen - I think waking up to an ex-dog is far worse. Especially when there was no warning at all, she'd not been in any way ill and had not shown any symptoms of anything other than getting a bit stiffer than she had been.

It may be because Fizz was my most recent loss, but finding her in the morning was for me worse than taking her to the vet for her last visit would have been.

But losing a dog, no matter how, is always awful.

[Robert Lockwood]

Lyndsey/Matt ,
As a first time dog owner i'm probably not qualified to comment but my take on it is this, whilst Dusty's tail is still wagging and he's still enjoying his walks i'd give him a reprieve and re- assess if this changes. Its a terrible decisision to have to make and one i'm not looking forward to making in the future but you know Dusty best and i'm sure you will make the best decision for him.

[frazers mam]

We have had to make this decision twice, it,s the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
Frazer was 14 and had cushings his medication had stopped working, he looked a very frail dog, the weight dropped off him, he looked like a bag of bones, he was still eating but sleeping all the time, he would go as far as the garden.
We talked for hours the OH saying well he looks a bit better today, we will leave it for a while longer.
We wanted each other to make the decision, in the end, it was me who made the phone call to the vet, In my heart I made the right decision, but it,s so hard to let go of your precious dog.
Time is a great healer and of course getting another dog has helped us greatly, and I know one day I am going to have to make the decision yet again.
Sending you a hug

[lyndsey + matt]

Thanks for the responses and kind wishes guys. I really appreciate it.
It is really hard for us because his diseases have taken some of the sparkle out of his eyes. Becuase we are only borderline in controlling the diabetes - he often doesn't eat his breakfast - that's is heartbreaking because he needs to eat it to get his insulin he is prone to getting colitis and with each new episode I am terrified the infection will finish him off. When he is bad (which is getting more frequent) he very often looks at me as if to say help me mummy.
Matt and I have practically given up our life to look after the little man - his routine is so rigid. In many ways, it will be a relief when the time comes - but not yet! I am following all your advice - when the bad days out weigh the good or when he can no longer walk to the fields for a run - then I will know.

[Bluebell]

Very sad for you. I knew(for sure) with Poppy because one day I suddenly caught sight of her and she appeared scared. Just not much left of the young carefree Poppy. And lucky (for us) it was all quite quick.

[zeta1454]

My heart goes out to you both - it is the hardest decision in the world to have to make but I know you will make it when the time comes. I would just say that (having gone through this with 4 elderly pets) that if you can get the opportunity to plan for the day it may help a little with the stress if not the grief. With our dear Kaska we took him out for a special day trip to his favourite arboretum beforehand. The following day we had the vet & nurse come to our house as Kaska (having in his last year had to undergo so many procedures at the surgery)had become really scared of the surgery. He always loved meeting people and when they arrived he was snoozing on his favourite rug on the sofa. He lifted his head to greet them - they were lovely with him - and it was as if he knew and was content that his time for rest and freedom from illness had come. The whole event was peaceful and dignified. Even though the loss still hurts now I am glad we were able to arrange things the way we did.

[lizzimore92]

So sorry to hear you are in the same position as me. My schnauzer is 7 1/2 and went blind 2 years ago and was diagnosed with cushins at the same time. She struggles with walks. Has never ending cysts removed now she has arthritis in one leg and has a heart murmur. However she is generally happy as she will get up and bring a toy to me for a game and eats all her meals. She just dosent seam to have the energy for anything else. She sleeps most of the time and in this weather is struggling because of her enlarged liver. Am I being cruel to keep her going, the vet said she is not in any pain. Does anyone know how long she will survive like this. I love her dearly and I know she still loves us.